Fulfillment

How important is fulfillment? Is it more important to feel fulfilled in your career or in your lifestyle? When does one know when they have reached fulfillment? Will we always be asking for more, always wanting something different?

Today I asked myself these big questions. I recently stumbled upon an essay I wrote during my college years where I professed my love of education and undeniable desire to help underprivileged children. I preached about the importance of teachers in the lives of youth and the possibilities that can be opened up to a child with the guidance of a caring adult. I made a written promise to serve this population of students with my whole mind, body, and soul, giving back to the world that has given me so much.

So go ahead and ask me if I, three years into my teaching career, am doing what I set out to do.

I'm not.

It's true. This isn't what I feel like I'm doing at all. Of course I put my heart into what I do. I love teaching to the very core and genuinely feel confident in my ability to educate children. But am I putting my "mind, body, and soul" into shaping the lives of children who have nothing? Do I feel like I am opening doors for children who have had them closed and locked for all their lives? Have I spent each day positively influencing the life of someone who could any day now choose a negative path?

Honestly, no.

I teach at a private school. My students' families pay money for their children to receive an American education. They have worked hard and saved their money so they could provide their families with a top-notch education, safety provided by homes and cars, and material possessions to make them feel valued. About the only thing these families can't provide is time.

I realize teaching students who have the capacity to go on to be future leaders of their country has great value. I'd like to think that my students are learning ethics and compassion from me that they can one day practice on their employees. But at the end of the day, do I feel like I am truly helping the youth of Viet Nam? Do I think that if it weren't for my presence, these children could wind up on the streets like so many of their countryside counter-parts? Not at all.

Today, this fact really bothered me. Its not my students' fault. They are sweet, kind, hard-working, and adorable. They want to succeed and understand that education is what will help them rise above their competitors. And truthfully, all children need a teacher. I grew up in a middle class community and thank my lucky stars that my teachers never decided that their job wasn't fulfilling because they helped shape who I am today.

But something just doesn't feel right.

I spoke about this with my incredible friend and coworker today and she helped me talk it out. I think for the last few years, my love of travelling has trumped my need to serve the less fortunate. How long can someone ignore this need? Because I am fairly certain it is infused in my viens. How long can I be "fulfilled" when I am only "fulfilling" my own selfish wants? When do I realize that travelling will mean nothing if it is just for myself. That unless I grow and share in a culture, I really haven't travelled at all.

My brother has been country hopping for a few months now and has been able to communicate (through spoken language!) with each country's inhabitants. He has sipped their wine, dressed in their traditional clothing, danced to music played from drums, and truly gotten to understand the ins and outs of a culture new to him. I feel like in the 9 months I've been in Viet Nam, I haven't even gotten to do that. Our students' families are private and don't speak English, many Vietnamese seem unsure of/unhappy towards foreigners, and the language is just about impossible to learn (though I'm still trying!).

So how can I call myself a world traveller when I hardly spend time with the world's people? Is this really more important to me than helping those who truly need it? Would there be more thought put into my travels if they happened less frequently? Would I focus my efforts on experiencing a part of the world that I felt I had something to offer? Would my general fulfillment in life improve because my fulfillment in my career has?

Instead of asking, "Do I feel fulfilled," maybe a better question is this: "I am fulfilling my role in society?"

This is all Google Images gave me. Maybe I should just binge eat instead?

For Carrah

Sometimes you need a kick in the pants to get writing again. Thanks Carrah for the pep talk today :) Here are some silly things kids have been saying lately, many of them dealing with the fact that I've been sick for the last week or so...



Student: Hey Miss Hannah, I know what can cure your illness.
Me: Oh yeah? Please share!
Student: You need to go to the temple. But first, you need to call the guys and ask them if you can come inside.
Me: What guys?
Student: The guys that live in the temples.
Me: Um, monks?
Student: Sure.
Me: Okay, how do I call the monks?
Student: Well, you could email them too. You hafta go inside and ask them a question and they will tell you what food to eat and then you will be cure!
Me: Huh. Wish someone would have told me that last week!

I'll let you know when I get in contact with the monks.



Student: I'm having a really bad day.
Me: What's going on? (COUGH COUGH) Do you want to talk about it (CHOKE, SNIFF, COUGH, GAG)
Student: Someone in my class made that thing that come when you eat food.
Me: Um, what? (COUGH COUGH, CHOKE CHOKE)
Student: You know that stuff that comes out of your body. Its not poop yet but that other stuff that comes out... you know... down there.
Me: Uhhhhh, farts?
Student: Yes! Someone in my class made the fart.
Me: (SNEEZE, COUGH, GAG, SIGH) So, how is that making your day bad? Is your class smelly?
Student: No someone in my class say it was ME who make the fart but I did not.
Me: (WHEEZE) Oh. Hm. Well, maybe you should tell them it was not you.
Student: Okay! (skips away)
Me: ...

Glad we had this talk.



Student: What's wrong with your voice?
Me: I have bronchitis. Its basically a bug that got into my nose and worked its way down to the areas that help me talk and breathe.
Student: Oh. When will it go away?
Me: Well, I started taking medicine for it that the doctor told me to take so hopefully it will go away soon!
Student: You shouldn't do that. The Vietnamese people tell you to take medicine so they can get the money. All you need to do is drink warm water.

Man, these kids have all the answers. Too bad I gave those Vietnamese people THREE DOLLARS for all my prescriptions. So greedy ;)



Me: (to class) Hi friends. I'm not feeling well today and my voice is very weak so I would really appreciate it if you could all help me out today. If I say something and you hear it but don't think someone else did, please tell me (COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH)
Class: (stares at me with shocked/scared faces)
Student: Um, Miss Hannah? You're coughing a lot.

Wow. Just... wow.



Me: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Student! Slow down! It's not a race. This is getting too messy for me to read.
Student: Oh, sorry. I guess I must have gone into Rampage Mode.
Me: (holds back laughter and manages to only smile) Rampage Mode, eh? Hm, well lets try to transfer into Cool and Calm Mode.
Student: (takes deep breath) Okay. Leaving Rampage Mode.

Where do they get this stuff?

Did You Know?

In this edition of, "Did you know?"...


-Did you know there is actually no phrase in Vietnamese for the equivalency of "bless you." When someone sneezes, they sneeze and life carries on.

-Did you know every single word in Vietnamese is one syllable? So the word for "encyclopedia" is actually 4 separate short words. This also means that the slightest change in accent marks to a monosyllabic word completely changes the meaning.

-Did you know it takes 20,800 Vietnamese Dong (VND) to equal 1 US dollar? So each month I get paid TENS OF MILLIONS of dong.

-Did you also know that the smallest note in the currency is 500 VND but most items are priced at a value that cannot be made with the currency? Example: lets say a pack of gum costs 6,483 VND. You literally cannot pay that amount. So you give 6,500 VND and since the cashier literally cannot give you change, she gives you a piece of candy instead. And yes, this whole paragraph is real.

-Did you know there are about 90 million people living in Vietnam (that is shocking enough!) and 40 million motorbikes? Yes, almost half the population drives a motorbike. Keep in mind there are 30 million children in the country...

-Did you know that if you give someone a scarf as a gift, you are giving them "difficulty." This was what my Vietnamese coworker told me when I gave her a scarf for inviting me to her home. She had to actually give me money for it so it was as if she purchased the scarf rather than receive a gift of bad luck. Epic gift-giving fail on my part.

-Did you know that sweet potato fries in Vietnam are regular french fries with sugar? Sweet + Potatoes = Sweet Potatoes. Duh.

-Did you know this is the most popular Karaoke song in Vietnam is this?

-Did you know it is not inappropriate or rude to ask someone their age and marital status the first time they meet you? It's also not inappropriate or rude to tell someone they are fat at any given moment.

-Did you know 40% of people in Vietnam have the surname Nguyen? And its pronounced "nween" with the very light "n" sound.

-Did you know Vietnam is the world's largest distributor of cashews? Randommmm!


I have three more entries in the works... stay tuned!



:)

Burma for Tet

The Vietnamese New Year is celebrated during the first day of the first month of the Lunar Calendar, this year in early February. The holiday is called Tết and is the most important week of the year for many of the countries in this region. All students get over a week off of school, decorations flood the streets, gifts are received and given for good luck, and traditions fill homes and hearts throughout the country. I had a great experience getting to learn more about this holiday through my students and my Vietnamese teachers. I was even asked to say a sentence of prosperity in front of the whole assembly! I agreed before knowing I was to be dressed up as a giant watermelon (my favorite word in Vietnamese: dua hau, pronounced "you a ho"). 

During the month of February, you know that super short month that leaves no room for blogging, I went to a little place called Burma (or Myanmar, as the government decided to call it in the 90's). Burma was crazy. I had left like I had traveled back in time whilst in India, but Burma put that idea to shame. Burma is the land of landline house phones in a booth on street corners where people pay cash to make phone calls. Burma is the land of rope hung from 4th story windows with a clip at the end to send messages from the streets below. Burma is the land of USA-lovers, one of the first experiences I've had as a traveler being praised for my country's involvement in foreign affairs. Burma is a place experiencing a sudden and jarring increase in tourism, which apparently meant a 50% increase in prices and a 100% chance of getting ripped off. Burma is a place of reconstruction rather that restoration, a conflict that is burning bridges between Burma and UNESCO. Burma is a land so unfamiliar with the tourism industry that no one, even those who had next to nothing, thought to ask for money from foreigners. It was a quite frankly a strange trip for me.

Because Burma has been almost untouched by tourism since, well... forever, it was definitely one of the more challenging trips I've been on. First, foreigners have to go through an agent to get a visa and those agents typically won't grant you a visa unless you agree to book tours and hotels through them as well. Ugh, already frustrating. Second, foreigners cannot purchase domestic plane tickets. Period. This is where those sneaky agents step in once more. Luckily, we were connected with a lady here in Viet Nam who made all our flights and hotels for us and did not force any tours down our throats. In the end, it was quite a costly trip, but one that I had been dreaming about for some time now. It wasn't until we realized that everything in Burma had doubled in price since the previous year that we were starting to wonder just how much money we were spending on this trip.

Burma had experienced a 33% increase of tourism from December to February, just as Burma was "opening" to the world. This was very exciting for the people of Myanmar. They were able to show their beautiful country to the world. They were able to make an income in the tourist industry. They were able to practice their English with all the foreigners visiting their country. They were also able to charge us far more than any other Asian country. Though at times we felt we were being taken advantage of, we had to learn to just bite our tongues and enjoy the incredible views we had around us at every waking moment.

Watching the sun rise over the temples + hot air balloons

Our first stop was a place called Bagan. Bagan looked like an African grassland littered with thousands of ancient temples constructed in the 7th century. In any direction you look, hundreds of stone structures dominate the horizon. We spent several days exploring these "corn-on-the-cob" buildings on bicycle, taking our time to learn the ins and outs of as many of these majestic architectural wonders. Each time you entered a temple, you were asked to remove your shoes to pay respect to the holy grounds on which the stupas were built. Many countries in this region boast temples and pagodas that are impressive in size and beauty. But the sheer number of temples in Burma was spellbinding. We're talking thousands people! We spent our nights watching the sunset over the plains and the mornings watching the city come to life while the sun rose. It was truly a breathtaking experience.

Rita and I getting second degree burns on our feet

It was Bagan where we first realized how much the people of Burma were excited about what was happening to their country politically. We had people constantly asking us if we were from the USA and when we answered they would say, "OH! Obama!" It was awesome. As a traveler, I rarely get this type of response. I never deny my roots, but have found myself having to defend them more than I ever thought I would. But in Burma, we proudly told everyone where we were from and spoke to many locals about what they thought about democracy, Obama's visit, and "The Lady" as all Burmese call Aung San Suu Kyi. It was really quite incredible to see people so far from the major cities informed about what was happening in their country.

after a day of barefoot temple-ing

Next up was a trip to Inle Lake. An entire town built around a lake where residents commute by canoe, gather produce from floating gardens, and fish with giant nets and poles for paddling. This community was definitely less accustomed to toursim. It was one of those situations where you feel like a jerk looking around in a town where everyone is just going about their day-to-day. Can you imagine a group of tourists taking pictures of you planting bulbs in your front yard? Or while you pray in church? Or play with your siblings outside? Sometimes, I just can't handle how awkward it must feel to have people snap pictures of your life, thus why I don't have many pictures from this part of our trip. It was incredibly beautiful and peaceful and a big part of me wished it could stay that way for the people who lived there...

leg paddling on Inle Lake

Yangon was our last stop and it wasn't until our last day did we realize it was not actually the capital of Burma. This was definitely one of the warmest parts of our trip that had us retreating to places with AC as much as possible. Yangon was where I noticed how seldom we saw anyone asking for money. It was hard to decide if the people were just not in as much need as others we have seen or if pan-handling is not allowed or if people genuinely didn't want to ask others for anything. Regardless, it was an interesting observation that I have yet to notice anywhere else in this region. 

I didn't realize how blurry this was until now but here is a glimpse of Burmese communication: rope + clip = message delivery :)

Unfortunately, I am now feeling too tired and forgetful to tell you much more about this trip. I am thankful for it as I feel like Burma is on the verge of "blowing up" in terms of accepting tourism and its likely to change drastically in the next five years. It would be interesting to return in ten years to see how much it has grown and to see if the prices have fallen :) Here's to you, Burma. May you grow in a way that brings freedom to your people but doesn't take away from the pristine, untouched land that you are. 

Since I've Been Gone

Guys, we need to talk. My relationship with you is suffering, and I need some encouragement. I love blogging, truly, but I don't make time for it. That's something I've always wanted to improve upon but it wasn't until today, when I realized its been so long since I've blogged that my Blogger dashboard has translated itself into Vietnamese, that something's gotta give. Maybe I need to commit one day a week to blogging, no questions asked? Maybe I need readers to give me more feedback? Maybe I need to acquire a computer program in which all my thoughts and words are written out in text so I can skip the typing part of this? Regardless, I'd like for us to still be friends, so please allow me to update you on the last month(s) or so.

**(I did write something on here but don't like posting incomplete thoughts... here was some anticipated excitement for my mom's trip that sadly ended this morning.)

Good news friends, MY MOM IS COMING! On Friday! And she'll be here for more than 2 weeks. She has recently been bit by that ever so sneaky "travel bug" that grabbed hold of my siblings and I years ago. My mom got her passport after all of her kids did. If that isn't a true testament of a mother who made sacrifices for her children, I don't know what is. I am so excited to watch her discover a new part of the world and see how much her influence has shaped how her children view life around them. We have big plans of playing at the beach in Hoi An, Vietnam and reenacting Tomb Raider in Angkor Wat, Cambodia. We've been getting visas, booking flights and hotels, and going through the list of things mom is bringing me from the motherland, including Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and Betty Crocker cookie mix-- hey, I've gone 8 months without that stuff, let a girl indulge for once! ;)

Before I can get too excited about the prospects of this epic mother-daughter trip (edit: tell you about the trip that has already come and gone...ugh), I think I should catch you up on the last month and a half of life that I have failed to blog about. The day-to-day hasn't been too different, except for the little fact that I'm pretty sure my students are obsessed with me. Orrrr more than likely, its actually the content we are studying that they are obsessed with, but either way, I am more than pleased with how things are going in 4D. The amount of compassion they seem to have for other people is just plain inspiring. After doing a unit on "Cultural Conflict," my students seemed to be infuriated with injustices around them. Its amazing about 9-year-old Vietnamese students can recognize the impact of prejudices more than many adults I know. You should check out my class blog and see just how insightful these little people are: http://culturalconflict.weebly.com/ms-hannah-blog.html

At an assembly recently, Colin reminded the students that though they had just returned from a relaxing vacation, it was now time to regain focus and learn as much as they could. One of my students, in front of a completely silent study body, literally threw his arms up and yelled, "YESSSS!" He was stone-faced serious, I kid you not. Proud moment. Another student recently came up to me before recess with a lightbulb glimmering above his head and just about shouted, "Miss Hannah, when I focus, school in FUN! It's like we are playing AND learning!"

Get over here, kid, and give your ol' teacher a hug! 

Moments like these remind me that I truly have the best job in the world. Moments like finishing report card comments and grading the enormous stack of papers I have let pile up on my desk, make me think differently (I finished 'em and maybe even a little bit possibly enjoyed the parent-teacher conferences that followed-- shocking!)

Alright, what comes next is a bunch of blogging vomit in an attempt to update you about all that's been going down here for the last few months. I think I will take one evening a week to blog, even if I feel like there is not much to say. Perhaps Thursday? I'll think about it and let you know :)

For the love of language

I became a writer in fourth grade, the same age my students currently are. I'll never forget the feeling I had when something I wrote was published in the local paper (nevermind the fact that we were living in a tiny town in the smallest state at the time; I still thought I was famous). That encouragement was all it took for me to grow a love of writing. If I had had a car as a child, it's license plate frame would have read, "I'd rather be writing." I felt proud of what I created. I felt I could escape from reality with a pencil and paper. And I felt like I was good at something in school. I was never a bad student, as I was always concerned with my grades and whether my teachers and friends liked me. But this was one part of my schooling that I felt truly confident in, something I felt came naturally. I'm trying my darnedest to help my students feel the same but the difference between them and the 4th grade me is huge. 

I was never trying to write in another language.

These kids are incredible. I know everyone says that learning another language when you are young is easier but that doesn't mean its easy. Sometimes when I read what they've written, I really have no idea what is going on in their heads. Sometimes when I call on them in class and listen to what they have to say, I am bewildered with their entirely unrelated responses. Sometimes when I remind them for the 30th time that it's pronounced "THink," not "Tink," I wonder if I have taught THem anyTHing. But other times, when I pause for a second to remind myself what it was like when I was learning Spanish, what it is currently like as I struggle through the few Vietnamese phrases I know, they quite literally leave me speechless in my own language. 

Can you imagine yourself at age nine feeling confident enough to talk to adults in a language that is not your own? Can you picture what it would have been like to have had to do your homework completely on your own because your parents couldn't read the instructions? Can you empathize with what it would feel like to so badly want to contribute to the class discussions but the word you need to express yourself just won't come to you? 

I love these dudes. They are so cool. And so many of them know the grand plan for their lives and what learning English will mean for their families. Ninety-five percent of our student population is Vietnamese and I would guess 10% of the families speak any English. But this generation, they will grow up learning English, attend a school abroad in an English-speaking university, get amazing jobs, and return to their families to help support them financially. This is the grand plan. This is why so many students spend additional time after school and on weekends studying, practicing, and learning more. This is the subconscious pressure that rests of their shoulders each day they sit in my classroom. 

The most beautiful part of all is witnessing the resilience of a child. I am thankful that I get to spend my days with people, no matter how small, who keep trying no matter how frustrating it all may seem. The fact that they can do so with a smile too, makes my job all the more fun.

Teaching Vietnamese students how to dance the Merengue and Bachata in Spanish Club... love it :) 

On the Commute

Last night I had a sleep over with my most favorite people under 3 feet tall. The Brown's are the family I taught with in Guatemala and who so graciously offered me the opportunity to teach with them in Vietnam as well. They have two little girls, ages 2 and 4, who just brighten my world. We go swimming, paint our nails, celebrate the birthdays of various Barbies, go for walks, read stories, and many other imaginative activities. I am so impressed with the intelligence of these two and wonder what percentage of it comes from their educator parents and international upbringing. One daughter, I'll call her Kay, was born in China. The other one, May, was born in Guatemala. They have also lived in Hungary and Vietnam. Pretty much a new country for every year of life.

I believe the amount of wisdom that is packed into those tiny heads is largely because their parents spend quality time talking with them, reading to them, and making note of their surroundings. Today in the taxi ride to school, we played a game of Eye Spy. Except, Vietnam style. Here is a list of things we were looking for:

• 20 ladies in pointy-hats
• 4 fruit vendors
• 2 men without shirts
• a pig with no head
• a baby sandwiched between it's parents on a motorbike
• a family of 4 or more on one motorbike

Believe it or not, we saw all of those things except for 2 men without shirts (it's apparently the "cold" season in Vietnam, meaning temperatures dip as low as 70*F, 21*C) in our 15 minute ride. The best part of it all is that its the little ones who spark up the game and yell out with enthusiasm "CHECK!" every time we spot something from the list. What an interesting life these girls are having. I thought my childhood taught me a lot from my constant moving and that was just within the United States. These girls are going to know that much more about the world because not only are they seeing it, they are living it.

This taxi ride has reminded me to be more aware of whats happening around me. Since I normally ride my bicycle to school, I focus more on not getting run over than on the hilarity I am constantly surrounded by. I think tomorrow, I'll leave 10 minutes earlier and take my time riding to school. I would love to be able to post some pictures of what it looks like in the streets in the day-to-day of Saigon, but right now I'm moving to fast. I'll share what I find with you soon, perhaps when the internet comes back on at my house :)

Cheers!